| Disappointment is always painful. Though you | | | | you have enjoyed a laugh, consider your |
| recovered from childhood disappointments quickly, | | | | strengths and weaknesses. A former employer |
| you may not recover from adult ones as quickly. | | | | and family members can help you with this. List |
| Adult disappointments -- missing a promotion, | | | | your strengths on paper and how they could |
| teens on drugs, a pending divorce -- are serious | | | | work to your advantage. This process shifts your |
| things. Rebounding from disappointments like | | | | thinking from the past to the future. |
| these takes time and effort. Where do you start? | | | | DO SOME SOUL-SEARCHING. Business owner and |
| THINK POSITIVELY. When you are disappointed it | | | | author Harvey Mackay ("Swim With the Sharks") |
| is easy to slip into "All-or-Nothing Thinking." David | | | | sees disappointment as an opportunity for |
| D. Burns, MD describes this thinking in his | | | | soul-searching. This soul-sourching can lead to |
| best-selling book, "Feeling Good." According to | | | | better things. In his article, "Disappointment is |
| Burns "All-or-Nothing Thinking" is a mental | | | | Opportunity in Disguise," Mackay says you can't |
| distortion and you tend to see things in | | | | let disappointment get in the way of progress. |
| "black-or-white categories." A small setback can | | | | "It's time to quit being disappointed and recognize |
| make you feel like a total failure. | | | | that you might have to jump to another lily pad," |
| You are not a failure, you are overcome with | | | | he writes. You may have to sharpen your skills to |
| disappointment. The good news is that you can | | | | get there. |
| turn "All-or-Nothing Thinking" around. When you | | | | GET NEW SKILLS. New skills lead to new things |
| have a negative thought, such as "I could have | | | | and Barbara's story illustrates this. Barbara, an |
| done more," Burns says you replace it with a | | | | engineer and production specialist, had worked at |
| positive one. Your positive thought may be "I | | | | a small manufacturing company for just over a |
| worked hard and did my best." Thought by | | | | year when she was downsized. Many other |
| thought, you get your mind back on a positive | | | | employees were downsized with her. The layoffs |
| track. | | | | occurred after the parent company (in another |
| KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES. | | | | country) took a large account away from the |
| Daniel Goleman, author of "Working With | | | | subsidiary company and its profits fell. Because a |
| Emotional Intelligence," thinks we need to see | | | | foreign country was involved Barbara qualified for |
| ourselves realistically in order to move forward. | | | | NAFTA funding. She used this funding to pay for |
| We need to face the "make or break moments" | | | | her MBA. Today, Barbara is a production |
| in our lives, Goleman says, and the people who do | | | | supervisor for a huge manufacturing company. |
| this know their strengths and weaknesses. These | | | | You can grow from disappointment. Get new |
| people learn from experience, are open to new | | | | skills, do some soul-searching, know your |
| ideas, continue to learn and develop, and can laugh | | | | strengths and weaknesses, and learn to replace |
| at themselves. | | | | negative thoughts with positive ones. Life has |
| So look for the laughter in the darkness of your | | | | many disappointments and these steps will help |
| disappointment. Laughter is energizing and, after | | | | you to handle them. |