| Have you ever paid attention to the ringing of | | | | grandparents and parents, carrying an eight foot |
| church bells on Sunday morning? If so, what do | | | | Grandfather Clock strapped to their waists like |
| you listen to? Do you listen to the notes or to the | | | | the rest of their relatives did and are doing in life. |
| silence between the notes? | | | | When you can enjoy what you do, you can take |
| If you listened to the silence, wouldn't the notes | | | | the pain out of your life and view the process as |
| have a different sound and quality? Listening to | | | | pleasure and fun, rather than pain and work. It is |
| the silence is called listening below the surface and | | | | easier to succeed than it is to struggle. This takes |
| this is a technique I have been perfecting for the | | | | a different kind of attention - one that is not |
| last few years. I have found that very few | | | | resistance created. |
| people know how to pay attention; therefore | | | | The kind of attention I am discussing is entirely |
| very few people know how to listen. It is very | | | | different from what most people mean by |
| important in the game of life, entrepreneurship, | | | | attention and has tremendous opportunity |
| sales, and marketing to hear what is really being | | | | because it is not exclusive. When most people |
| said - the real meaning and what messages are | | | | concentrate on a subject, a topic, or a prospect, |
| being sent. | | | | consciously or unconsciously they build a wall of |
| Let's look at paying attention. Haven't you heard | | | | resistance against the intrusion of other thoughts |
| this old cliché: "Attention to detail"? What | | | | so their mind is not wholly there, and is not |
| does it mean to pay attention? We were taught | | | | listening for the signs and sounds below the |
| as children to: "Pay attention to what I say; Pay | | | | surface. Only 40% of communication is verbal; |
| attention to your teacher; Pay attention in church; | | | | the other 60% is non-verbal. You are only partially |
| Pay attention when you cross the street," and | | | | there despite however much attention you pay, |
| many others. Remember in school how easy it | | | | because part of your mind is resisting any |
| was to drift off in science, math, or English when | | | | intrusion, any deviation, or distraction. |
| the subject matter didn't interest you at all? | | | | Let's look at distraction. You want to pay |
| In general, we learned how to pay very little | | | | attention (to your prospect and what is being |
| attention. I see many people that I coach, mentor | | | | said), but your mind wanders, thinking about what |
| with, and talk to who continue to perpetuate this | | | | not to say (fear based), then part of your mind |
| same lack of attention to detail in their lives and | | | | resists the so-called distraction and there is a |
| careers. If we were taught how to pay attention, | | | | waste of energy in the resistance. Whereas, if |
| perhaps learning how to listen, prospect, sort, and | | | | you are aware of every movement of the mind |
| close would be much easier for us and have a far | | | | from moment to moment then there is no such |
| greater significance. | | | | thing as a distraction. This also greatly enhances |
| When your teacher told you to pay attention in | | | | your ability at recall. |
| school, what did it actually mean? It meant not to | | | | On a weekly basis I ask my clients about their |
| look out the window and to concentrate on what | | | | particular prospects - who they talked to, where |
| you were supposed to be studying. When you | | | | they were from, what they did, etc. - and I am |
| read a novel that has you on the edge of your | | | | amazed at how most people have no recall of |
| seat, your mind is concentrated and you are so | | | | what was spoken (no attention to detail). Learning |
| absorbed that you don't hear anything else. This is | | | | how to change how you pay attention or taking |
| another form of attention; this pleasure is an | | | | the perceived pain out of the process will greatly |
| escape. | | | | enhance your ability to prospect and sort and |
| In the ordinary sense, paying attention is a | | | | make the process much more enjoyable. You |
| narrowing process, is it not? Why is it that so | | | | don't waste as much time and energy in resisting |
| many people have difficulty prospecting and | | | | success. This will assist you in your perception of |
| hearing what people are saying and what | | | | this whole process of you becoming successful. |
| message is being sent? The reason is that most | | | | When you listen both to the sound of what the |
| people prospect the same way they were taught | | | | prospect is saying and to the silence between the |
| how to listen and pay attention in school. The | | | | words, the whole of that listening is paying |
| average person ends up taking this whole process | | | | attention. Similarly, when someone is speaking, |
| of listening, prospecting, and becoming successful | | | | attention if the giving of your mind not only to |
| as a painful process. | | | | the words, but also to the pure silence between |
| Average people take rejection personally, | | | | the words. This is because you are not thinking |
| operating from a position of fear. The message is | | | | about what to say. You get comfortable enough |
| sent telepathically that "I'm nervous; I'm afraid I'll | | | | with yourself (who you are and what you are |
| make a mistake; I won't say the right thing; You | | | | becoming) that you speak from your intuition. |
| are going to ask me how long I've been doing this | | | | I call this speaking fast on your feet. If you |
| and how much money I've made; I can't lead you; | | | | experiment with this technique, you will find that |
| Don't send me money, I don't deserve it," and all | | | | your mind can pay complete attention without |
| other sorts of mixed messages. The average | | | | distraction and without resistance. When you |
| prospector seldom pays close attention due to | | | | discipline your mind by saying, "I must not look |
| the fact that there is a perceived pain of the | | | | out of the window; I must not get up and turn on |
| whole process and it doesn't feel enjoyable. | | | | the TV or computer; I must pay attention even |
| I believe there is a different kind of attention | | | | though this is painful and I want to do something |
| altogether. The attention which is generally | | | | else," it creates a division which is very |
| advocated and taught is a narrowing of the mind | | | | destructive because it dissipates the energy of |
| to a point, which is a process of exclusion. The | | | | the mind. |
| way we have been taught to pay attention in our | | | | But if you listen comprehensively so that there is |
| past is really a way of resisting something such as | | | | no division and therefore no form of resistance, |
| the desire to look out the window or to see who | | | | then you will find that the mind can pay complete |
| is coming up the sidewalk. We divert our energy | | | | attention to anything without effort. Do you |
| into resistance. | | | | understand? Pleasure not pain (a new perception) |
| This is exactly what happens in prospecting for | | | | sort not sell. You can't say the wrong thing to the |
| most people. They know they are supposed to | | | | right person. You start to hear from a different |
| "pay attention," listen, sort, etc, but they get | | | | level. You start to hear and understand language |
| diverted, shut down, and start thinking about | | | | that is resistance oriented and hear how questions |
| what to say instead of listening for the signs of | | | | and why questions from a different perspective. |
| interest or commitment form their prospects. | | | | This is a different concept that we are |
| The signs are missed and the chase is on! This | | | | accustomed to. Most people try to discipline the |
| becomes "tell and sell" rather than sort and lead. | | | | mind so tightly that it cannot deviate or just let it |
| Any kind of prospecting involves two key | | | | wander from one thing to another. What I am |
| elements, asking and listening, and it is really this | | | | describing is not a compromise between the two; |
| simple when broken down. | | | | on the contrary it has nothing to do with either. It |
| You learn to ask questions that allow people to | | | | is an entirely different approach; it is to be totally |
| open up and tell you a little about themselves in a | | | | aware so that your mind is all the time attentive |
| manner they don't feel interrogated or threatened | | | | without being caught in the process of exclusion. |
| by. Instead, they feel you care about them and | | | | Practice what I am saying and you will quickly see |
| that you are listening. There is a flow in our | | | | how your mind can learn. You can listen to your |
| conversation and at the same time you are direct | | | | prospects from anew perspective and see that |
| and stay in complete control of the direction of | | | | there is not the effort of learning. |
| the conversation. Very few people ever get to | | | | After all, if you know how to listen to what your |
| this comfort level in their careers and a large part | | | | prospect is telling you about their life or their |
| of the reason why is due to the fact that they | | | | reasoning and you can listen without any |
| have to unlearn their old bad habits of paying | | | | resistance because your mind has space and |
| attention and poor listening. | | | | silence and is therefore not distracted. You will be |
| In order to change, we must unlearn the way we | | | | aware of what they are telling you, but what |
| were taught to exclude from the mind every | | | | they are telling you below the surface. I call this |
| thought but the one on which we want it to be | | | | reading what people are telling you subconsciously. |
| totally concentrated. This is what most people | | | | This also opens you up for a better inwards |
| mean by paying attention. I have found that there | | | | response. Your self talk will improve as well. |
| is a different kind of attention, a state of mind | | | | We all know what space is. There is space in your |
| which is not exclusive, which does not shut out | | | | house, between your house and car, between |
| anything, and because there is no resistance, the | | | | you and your desk - all that is space. Now there |
| mind is capable of much greater attention. | | | | can be space in your mind - this allows you not to |
| Consciously, most people "want" (the operative | | | | overreact or take personal remarks and |
| word) to be successful; they see the opportunity | | | | statements prospects make. You can start to |
| in direct selling and networking as an opportunity | | | | hear excuses and no then depersonalize them. If |
| to achieve their dreams and make changes in | | | | your mind has space, then in that space there is |
| their lives. However, most people have a | | | | silence - and from that silence everything else |
| conditioned belief that success is difficult, painful, | | | | come without resistance. |
| and a sacrifice. | | | | This is why it is important to have space in the |
| They have heard the word 'no' 148,000 times by | | | | mind. If the mind is not preoccupied with struggle, |
| the time they are eighteen years old, and have | | | | pain, and fear, not over crowded, not ceaselessly |
| spent 20,000 meals with the wrong success | | | | occupied, then it can hear the background noise |
| coaches (their parents) and then struggle like their | | | | and be fully aware of what is being said. |